“It must be nice.” Or, “That’s a long holiday.”
These are the sentences I hear the most. If I didn’t know better myself, I would have thought the same thing…
But this isn’t holiday or vacation.
This is our real life. Just somewhere else. With two whole lodging payments a month.
Life Didn’t Stop—It Just Moved
Here’s the simplest way I can say it:
Everything we were doing at home… we’re still doing.
Christian still works full-time. Long hours. Meetings. Deadlines. The same problems to solve.
We’re still raising a baby. Still homeschooling. Still figuring out our days.
We still have:
- meals to plan
- laundry to deal with
- financial arguments and teenage angst to navigate
- schedules to juggle across time zones
- doctor visits to figure out
None of that paused.
But now we’re doing all of it in a place where we don’t speak the language. In a time zone that’s almost the opposite of our schedule back home. I can’t read ingredient labels. I don’t have Amazon. I don’t know the streets like the back of my hand like I do back home. Even small things take more effort.
It’s Harder Than It Looks
From the outside, this life looks easier. And in some ways it is.
In other ways, it’s not.
We still have the friction of being newly weds and parents of an infant.
But now nothing is second nature. You don’t just run errands. You think through them first.
You don’t just go. You figure out transportation, routes, timing.
You can’t assume you understand what’s happening. You’re guessing more than you want.
Then you layer a full time job, parenting, health issues and teen angst on top. Now add in a new environment, disrupted routines, and wifi routers that don’t block all the inappropriate channels…. And you have more than your fair share of challenges.
We’re constantly wrestling with the same things we wrestled with at home. Its just now we have breathing room and higher levels of Vitamin D to stave off 50% of the feelings of impending doom.
This Isn’t a Vacation Mindset
Vacation has a feeling.
You rest. You spend more. You say yes more. Its all inclusive resorts and chill vibes.
That’s not what we’re doing.
We’re here because it makes sense financially. It gives us breathing room. It lowers the cost of daily life.
But that only works if we’re intentional.
So no, we’re not eating out all the time.
No, we’re not saying yes to everything.
We have beach vibes, but we’re still disciplined.
What Freedom Actually Looks Like
There is freedom here.
Just not the kind people expect.
It’s not do whatever you want.
It looks like:
- taking care of your body without stressing about cost
- making food choices that feel better for your family
- having margin around the basics
- being more present
- breastfeeding where you need to
- your child being safe to walk alone
That’s the kind of freedom we’re growing into.
The freedom isn’t doing whatever we want.
It’s choosing what’s good for us—and doing that daily.
Expectation vs Reality
There’s a gap between what people picture and what this looks like.
People think:
- beach every day
- eating out constantly
- no chores
- more couple time
- nonstop big moments
Reality looks more like:
- beach once or twice a week
- eating out, but with limits
- still cooking, still cleaning
- Christian working long hours
- missing things we thought we’d do
We went to Thailand for the beach.
Christian never even got to go.
And then there’s the stuff no one imagines.
The first house we stayed in didn’t have enclosed bedrooms. At night, it got cold enough that we were huddled together.
A few weeks later, it flipped.
Now it was hot. No AC. Just fans and heavy air.
And mosquitoes.
Everywhere.
You go to the bathroom and come back with six bites.
That’s part of the journey too.
It’s messy. It’s uncomfortable. It’s real.
This Is a Trade, Not an Escape
This isn’t an escape.
It’s a trade.
Some things are harder:
- language
- logistics
- daily tasks
- financial pressure
Some things are easier:
- cost of living
- access to care
- a different pace in some areas
Because the easier things give us more bandwidth, we can actually deal with the harder ones. That’s the trade.
Learning as we go. Figuring it out together as a family.
There’s no version of this where everything gets easier.
What We Actually Chose
Living overseas isn’t a vacation.
It’s life.
Just in a different place. With different challenges. Different rhythms.
Some days feel beautiful.
Some days feel heavy.
Most days feel ordinary.
That’s where the good stuff is. In the ordinary. In the daily. In building a home far from what’s familiar.
We didn’t choose an easier life.
We chose a different one.
And we’re still learning how to live it.
If you’re thinking about doing something like this—taking your family somewhere new—what are you actually looking for?
And what are you willing to trade to get it?